It all evens out

One blog for this month. Impressive. I've been swamped with school. I'm trying to finish in a timely fashion. There are a million and one things I'd like to blog about, but I'll make a list and get to them next month, which I can promise now that I've unloaded a person from my daily itinerary. In chronological order:

• Peanut attack Friday of the convention
• Mesha's baptism
• Bubbles' Graduation Party
• Andy broke up with me
• Easel Weasel Beezit came for the weekend. Did some therapeutic shopping.
• Left for Kentucky with Jules.
• Shakespeare Tavern with group of 30. Picked up (my) kids with Lost Aunt.

Peanut attack was awful. I've gone 23 days accident free now and after that Sunday at the new Chinese restaurant where I was yelled at by my father for not specifying that there should be no peanuts on my plate, even though I ordered something without peanuts, I've had an acute sense of asking about peanuts and peanut oil everywhere I go. The baptism was wonderful, as well as the dinner on Sunday for her. I'm skipping the graduation party. Though fun, I have a feeling that it aided the disaster the Monday after (point 5 on the list). Eas came out. I spent $60. It still wasn't enough to satisfy me. It's rare that I look for fleeting happiness in such empty things, but buying stuff always makes me feel better, especially when I get to swipe that pretty piece of plastic with my name on it. It did feel good buying those shoes, which I am in love with. Oh! And I found the same pair of pants that I had 5 years ago, wore out, and turned into cut-offs for $10! I was so happy at that moment. I bought a shrug marked down to $10 from $98. That's always gratifying when you buy something so drastically marked down. Sunday of last, I left for my Oliveparents and then the next day, we left for Kentucky. (Ask Poly to fill you in on the details of that morning and my frantic panic about going to Fry's, which I am now in love with.) Kentucky was beautiful and they grow a lot of corn. Jules had to go for business. She was doing a title search for some property with oil wells on it that were leaking into the water, since they were out of use. I was able to spend a whole day helping her and decided that I'd like to go to school to be a paralegal and work for a real estate company, so that I could deal with the deeds and mortgages and wills and stuff like we did for that property. I enjoyed all the research and following the trails to make a puzzle. Jules and I took turns taking pictures. Neither of us are HnB, but I think we got some good shots. The downtown of Owensboro, KY (the third largest city in KY) is quaint and going through a revival. Neat town. One night we drove to Evansville, IN and saw the college that would send me mail daily my sophomore year. THAT'S a town I'd love to go back to. I'm going back to KY anyway because I made a friend in the congregation up there. She's in pioneer school as I type. We stopped and ate at a restaurant recommended by some friends of mine in Nashville that regretted they could not meet me for dinner, but said I must come back and visit. Jules bought lots of beer and we had to leave through the brewery. The car thus smelled like beer all the way home. My zen died near Dalton. It was a sad moment when we had to turn to Atlanta radio stations. I hung around till Sunday evening to be able to go to the Tavern. Had a roaring good time. From there, my Lost Aunt took me home after we picked up the kids from her X. I've never seen those kids so surprised, or so happy to see me. When her 5 year old daughter ran up to me and hugged me, it was the happiest I'd been in two weeks. There's nothing like a hug from a 5 year old to cure all. Now, I'm home and dreading tomorrow. A group of people concerned about me told me that it would be best if I came home and faced him. I know I like to run from problems and I have issues with denial. I told myself that I wasn't going to let him impair my life, so I have turned in my application to regular pioneer (which means 70 hours a month minimum with his mom). I'd really like to spend my first year pioneering out here, but if it gets to be too much, I may spend a few months out of the 12 pioneering in a congregation in Atlanta some where. I have a lot of feelings about what happened and I'm still confused about what I'm supposed to do because I don't know what I want... at all. For about 10 years, my life plan was be single, support myself, live in Atlanta, travel, pioneer. That was it. Sure I wasn't really happy with it, but that's what I'd decided. My worry was my allergies. No one would love me enough to give them up. It's a cramp in my lifestyle, but I've lived with it all my life and have no choice. Any guys that might be interested in me would have a choice. I never dreamed how happy I'd be with a guy. Never dreamed.