10 Things for 10 People

I'm blogging at 11:30 from my house im my holey pjs. Lovin' it. I took this from a friend of mine in Snellville that uses Xanga mostly, but I liked her post and I wanted to do it too. I hope she doesn't mind if I copy her.

- List ten things you want to say to ten people but know you never will.
- Don't say who each is.
- Feel free to comment

1. Even if you don't believe me, I know it's the way I feel: I'm finally over you. There were countless times where I thought that I would have to give you up completely and that made me so sad to even dwell on the possibility. What makes me so happy that I've finally reached this point is because I want to be friends with you for the rest of my life. Most of the time, I'm irritated with you, but you personally, have never made me unhappy, and I think that's why I like you. More often than not, I have fun when I'm with you. I probably still did even when you threw cars at me and put grandaddy long legs on the slide so I couldn't go down. Even though I'm over you, the sad part about it is that if you ever changed your mind about me, I'd be right there quicker than you could say my name. Sure, we're a lot alike and we're basically brother and sister, but I trust you more than any other friend of mine. I know I can tell you anything and you will keep it in confidence; if I stop mid-sentence because I'm having a hard time getting something out, all I have to say is "ya know?" - and you know, even if I don't. Since that won't happen, I'm on a quest to find another you.
2. I wish I knew you better. You are one of the main reasons why I want to move back to Atlanta. I like hanging out with you and I feel like I know you REALLY well, but that's only from second hand information. I'd like to find out all of that first hand. We obviously have a lot in common, just not a lot of time to spend together. And just so you'll never know, your clothes are always really cute. (lol.)
3. Of all the people I left in Snellville at SHS, you are the one I miss seeing the most. You were always there for me and the parts of me that I wished were stronger, were what you possessed the most of, and I think that's why you helped me so much and why I went to you. I'm sure you are still more mature than me and I'm secretly wishing that you would go to UGA so we could have coffee every once in a while. Still bummed you couldn't come to the Memorial that year because I think the truth woud've helped your cynicism, which has become only stronger over the years. If you do go to the University of Chicago, I'd make a trip to visit you, and bring a butter book to share.
4. You are never what I thought I would like, but I don't think people have types and compared to most of the guys I've liked, I've never liked one quite like you. If you would pay $150 for a nosebleed ticket to see Tori Amos and desprately wanted to move [back] to Atlanta like I do, I'd go against everything I know is right and stand for and marry you next year. My mom would have a fit for more than the obvious reason that I would only be 19, but you treat me the way I want to be treated in a relationship. Best of all, we both want to serve Jehovah to our fullest potential. Eventually, I would be insanely unhappy with my domestic life if I did marry you just as you are, but you are such the gentleman that I'm not sure I'd mind it too much.
5. When you took on the motherly role that you did, I welcomed it. Now, I resent what happened, but I learned from it. Looking back, you came in at the wrong time and did the wrong thing because all you did was aid my downward spiral. Still, I hold you in high esteem and hope that you take the magazines regularly like you used to. I always thought you were so close, yet so far away.
6. Sometimes, I wish I had never taken you on to, in a sense, mentor you. That's right, although you call me a best friend and I'll always be there for you, I'll probably never put you on the level you put me on. I'm proud of you though. You're getting baptised soon and I'm insanely happy for you. I know how much you want it and sometimes, I wish I could just sock your father for how protective he is of you, but I do my best to show you what it's like to have some freedoms when you are with me. I see so much of myself in you, and that scares me sometimes, but looking at myself now, I know you'll get on the right track and that you're on it right now. It does make it easy to help you fix things. In the year I've known you, you've come so far and most of that isn't me at all. You're doing it by yourself and that's what makes me happy to be able to be your "big sister," and not so much your best friend. I WILL always be therefor you though. NEVER forget that.
7. I feel special when you call me your best friend. Nine years is a long time, but we don't get to see each other much, partly because a looming cloud of drama follows you where ever you go. Your latest drama includes your "boyfriend." That situation upsets me. He isn't the one for you. It makes me mad to see you treat him the way you do. You have a wall up that isn't founded. All he wants to do is be close to you and you won't let him. He's too good for you. The only other thing that I don't like about you is that you care far too much about what people think of you. I don't have much room to talk, but this is a far bigger beal with you because it affects you in ALL parts of your life, so much so that you don't live for yourself at all. You would be angry with me for saying this, but you are so much like your mother. Otherwise, I do like to be your friend and I wish you would accept my help.
8. Although you are on a slightly lower level than my best friend, you will always be my best friend. Yeah, I have to admit that's confusing, but you don't have to worry because it doens't mean much. You always think of me and though you don't share the same wave length with me like he does, you give and give and give to me and I wish I gave more to you. There's not enough time to thank you so much for what you have done for me. Recently, physically and sticking with me to the end. You helped me so much so in the in the past that I owe you my whole social life. You are the only reason why I don't have a chip on my shoulder and wear chunky black eye liner. Of course, I get upset with you because we don't have much in common at all except girl stuff, but you have all the qualities I need in a best friend and I hope I never lose you. Thanks. Many zillions of thanks.
9. I've never met you. I think we'd get along too well, but you seem to be making a stupid decision. I don't like what you've done to my best friend, but you don't know you've done it, so I can't really hold you accountable. It's your current stupid decision that is saving him from doing what his heart keeps urging him to do, thus enabling him to keep his goal in tact.
10. Rehashing the past mistakes, no doubt is hard for you, but I do appreciate it. I do appreciate your advice so much. It has helped. Many zillions of thanks to you too. Love you so much.

Thank you and good night!